Heart & Soul
by Tracy Winston
Summary: What was Niles thinking after Daphne left him on the balcony in the season finale?


  
Title: Heart & Soul  
Author: Tracy Winston  
Rating: Not Rated  
Spoilers/Timeframe: Missing scene from "Something Borrowed, Something Blue"  
Summary: What was Niles thinking after Daphne left him on the balcony?  
Feedback: Yes, please do! I'm here at DaphAndNiles@aol.com   
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Heart and soul  
I fell in love with you  
Heart and soul  
The way a fool would do  
Madly because you held me tight  
And stole a kiss in the night.  
  
  
Who could ever believe that their life could change so much in less than an hour? I sure didn't. For eight long years, I pined after the angel that Frasier had the undeserved pleasure to have her under his roof. I had countless opportunities to prove my love to her, but many--and I mean many things got in the way: Maris, Frasier, Eric, Dad, Joe, Clive--even if I did get to pretend to be married to her when he was here--Rodney, Frasier--he did a lot of stepping on my emotions in saying not to confront her, so I mention him twice.  
  
Oh, and don't let me forget Donny. The one man that managed to get Daphne to go against her fear of commitment and be engaged to her. Lucky devil.  
  
No, I can't think like this; I can't allow myself to be jealous of Donny. I never "had" Daphne, so I don't have the right to be upset. It's not as though I never had a chance to tell her, so I have no right. None what so ever.  
  
Either way, I have Mel now. When I had first started dating her, yes, it was to try and get over Daphne--which never did completely work--but over time I learned to care for her. Sure, not as much as she did toward me--even when she was being manipulative and controlling like Maris. Yes, I noticed that, too. It was hard not to after Daphne had had all those Bloody Mary's and announced to everyone but Mel just what she thought of her. It wasn't as....weird to compare her to Maris, her being my ex-wife and all, but then I started comparing her to Daphne, and that was the last straw. Daphne was no longer accessible to me; I had to stop thinking about her, at least as often.  
  
But how does one stop thinking about one that they have regarded as a goddess for nearly eight years? Mel had mentioned the thought of moving in together, and I had thought it wasn't right at the time. There was the fact, though, that they had been going out for six months. The longest that I have been going out with anyone, except, of course, for Maris. Maybe the problem was that we have been at one stage of their relationship for a long time. Maybe Mel really was thinking for what was best in their relationship.  
  
During those few days away at the cabin, I put all of this into consideration. I had to do whatever I could to get over Daphne, just had to. At dinner the night before they went back to Seattle, Mel started the normal conversation as to why she thought we should go onto the next step. Listening very carefully to what she had to say, I got excited at the idea of moving on, uh, I mean, moving in together. But isn't moving in together just something that you do right before you get engaged? No, I could never last through a long, drawn out period of engagement with Mel. That would give me too much time to notice other women and how their traits differed from Mel's. Or even worse: would notice women that had traits like Daphne. Oh, that would be the end of it all. I had been appalled with myself when I realized that at one time I had considered staying with Maris but having an affair with Daphne. Maris wasn't worth that, and Daphne deserved so much more. But cheating on Mel with someone similar to Daphne. No, that would never do.  
  
So, to prevent the first real relationship I'd had in years from ending in a disaster, I blurted out the first thing that came to his mind: "Let's elope."  
  
Everything after then to when I arrived at Frasier's is a blur to me now. The next thing that I clearly remember is Dad, Frasier, and Daphne running about the apartment, each of them seeming to have something to tell the other. I can still see Dad's shocked expression as I told him that Mel and I were now married. Then Daphne came in. I think this was the first time that I had ever not wanted her to be around. After Frasier ushered Dad out, insisting that there was something that he had to tell him, I was then left with her. A few minutes later, Frasier, Roz, Simon, and Daphne knew. There went that. As Daphne had rushed out to take a check to the caterers, I wondered what it was that she had wanted to talk to me about.  
  
The rehearsal wedding and reception went off without a hitch. Well, there was the fact that Mel would complain about the tiniest thing not being perfect, by her standards at least. The thoughts that went through my head--both toward how exquisite Daphne looked and to how Mel was behaving--were not acceptable for a man that had just been married three days before. So, I kept quiet to Mel and stayed away from Daphne.  
  
That was until after the reception.  
  
I'll be sure to look for my old Gershwin CD when I get back to the Montana. "They Can't Take That Away From Me." The situation was just so...weird. As though it were written to be that way. It had been so long since we had last danced. The night where I confessed my love to her, and she complimented me on my acting. But at least then I felt I had a chance with her. Now it was all over. This time tomorrow she and Donny were scheduled to be flying out to the Caribbean for their honeymoon. But she was mine for the time being, in my arms, her head next to mine. I was free to smell her hair all I liked.  
  
After Donny had cut in, Frasier dragged me upstairs to his room. Nothing could have prepared me for all that he said. First, he had the gall to watch over me as I was dancing with Daphne. Being so close to her, to the deep brown pools of her eyes, to the intoxicating smell of her hair, had always had a great affect on me. And Frasier knew that. So he watched us. Then dragged me away from everyone to tell me. It wasn't like a few days before, when I had said that I was a bit nervous about going away with Mel. How dare he accuse me; I didn't have to take this, so I started for the door, but was cut short at the revelation that my big brother laid upon me: Daphne knew about my feelings. No wonder she had been acting so...different around me lately. 'My burnt hand! That must be why she... Could she possibly feel the same way?' That's what I was thinking; what I said was, "Oh, my God!"  
  
Then Frasier said something about breaking up marriages and feeling that he had to tell me, but my mind was still wrapped around the fact that she knows. 'Who could have told her? Or did she just overhear something that led her to finding out?' There was so much information to process, so many questions to ask. So I stood, ready to go in seek of what I needed to find.  
  
Daphne and Donny were the last people I expected to see walking past the door when I opened it.  
  
Heart and soul  
I begged to be adored,  
Lost Control  
And tumbled overboard,  
Gladly that magic night we kissed  
There in the moon mist  
  
  
I guess I really jumped headfirst into things. Didn't even let her get a sip of her Orangina. Just started right off by telling her what Frasier had just told me. Everything was going by way too fast, because the next thing I know, she's up and mad. And as much as I love having Daphne mad at me, I had to fix this. She had to understand that I would do anything for her, and that if I had known, I would never had married Mel. And that if she said the words, I would leave Mel, without a second's hesitation. This seemed to shock her, for some odd reason. Didn't she understand how I have felt for her over the years? Either way I told her, told her all of it, and asked her if she felt the same.  
  
After I filed for divorce, Daphne and I had these...get-togethers. She would come over to my apartment, either annoyed by the rest of the Cranes or just wanted to sit and talk. Sometimes she'd bring a bag of groceries and a movie, and after helping each other in the kitchen we'd talk for hours about everything and nothing. Like what I did while Frasier was in Boston, or how she dealt with eight brothers. And, of course, we had to watch the classics.  
  
I would always remember the time that Frasier tried to hook Dad up with Roz's mother, when he had already started dating Bonnie. Then I had to pretend that Bonnie was there for me, while Dad had to pretend to be able to stand Joanna's company. Being the wonderfully tasteful person that she is--not to mention British--Daphne went to get away from the horrid football game and went to see Wuthering Heights down at the old-fashioned cinema downtown. As soon as I was free of Frasier's step-up hell, I sped down there as fast as I could to find Daphne. And was she ever right, she does get all weepy near the end. Tears everywhere--and I was there to help wipe them away.  
  
All of these incidents brought us farther from the employer/employee relationship and closer to being good friends. I might even dare to say best friends. So if there was only one thing we had that kept us together it was trust. At this point I trusted Daphne with my heart, mind, body, and soul. If she wanted to stay with Donny, to forget that she knew about my feelings, then I could live with that. It might take several weeks of mental self-therapy, but I could do it. I had gotten over her before, had even gotten married, so I could get over her again.  
  
But if we had gotten interrupted one more time I think I was going to scream.  
  
Exiting to the balcony, I tried to focus my mind to something, anything other than the fact that everything could change in the next five minutes. Or it could just go back to the way things were before Daphne found out about my feelings. I was perfectly content with being over her until I had that talk with Frasier, so I could go back to that. Yes, I could be fine.  
  
Oh, but then Daphne came onto the balcony, and I lost the ability to stay focused on one single thought. Then I started talking about the breeze and the stars. I must be in love. No, I shouldn't have thought that, it would just get my hopes up. It was Daphne's decision if we should pursue something outside of friendship. That's why I was talking about the scenery, and not her.  
  
But that was cut short when she kissed me.  
  
Oh, but your lips were thrilling,  
Much too thrilling  
Never before were mine so strangely willing.  
  
  
I remember, now, saying that she should call me by my first name, and being answered with another kiss. Just as my mind was starting to process all of what was happening, she pulled back, saying she couldn't do it. She went on to explain how she couldn't leave Donny and she wouldn't let me leave Mel, that we weren't even sure how we'd be together. My mind was whirling around at a million miles an hour, trying to process everything at once. I can still hear myself saying that she should make sure that what she's saying will not end in her regretting having not taken a chance on us. But Daphne always stood by her decisions, and left me here, out in the suddenly very cold May air.  
  
  
But now I see  
What one embrace can do,  
Look at me  
It's got me loving you madly  
  
That little kiss you stole  
Held all my heart and soul.  
  
I just can't believe it. Fifteen minutes ago I was in a heated argument with Daphne over why I had kept my feelings a secret for so long. Two minutes after that, I was kissing the most beautiful angel that ever ascended from Heaven. Just a minute after that, I was left out here by that very same angel. And ever since then, I have been leaning against the railing to the balcony, running all of it over again in my head. It took me a while, but now I understand it.  
  
Before her family diverted us to the balcony, Daphne and I were doing fine just talking. Having Daphne tell me that she felt she had to stay with Donny would have been something that I could deal with, that I would have to deal with, for all involved.  
  
But that was before she kissed me.  
  
I don't think I can go back now. Not to Mel and her manipulative ways. I'd rather die a lonely man than to be with someone other than Daphne.  
  
So there's only one thing best for the situation: I'm going to get up from where I've slumped down on the cement and march back in there. Even if the thought of it makes me want to whimper and run off crying, I have to go and rationally and coolly explain to her that it would be best in her interest if we got our marriage annulled. I could never give her all that she deserves after having had a taste of Daphne, if you'll pardon the pun.  
  
I stand, retrieve my handkerchief, and dust off my suit. This is going to be hard, but it's for the best. I think afterward I'll go and see if I can stay in Frasier's room. I'll have to explain to him everything that happened, of course. I let out a small laugh that seems to sound more like a sigh; it looks like I'm taking on an awful lot tonight. Mr. "I'm Listening" better be ready, cause he's going to get an ear-full tonight.  
  
Heart and soul  
I fell in love with you.  
Heart and soul  
The way a fool would do,  
Madly because you held me tight  
And stole a kiss in the night.   
  
Heart and soul  
I begged to be adored,  
Lost control  
And tumbled overboard,  
Gladly that magic night we kissed  
There in the moon-mist.   
  
Oh but your lips were thrilling,  
Much too thrilling  
Never before were mine so strangely willing.   
But now I see  
What one embrace can do,  
Look at me  
It's got me loving you, madly   
  
That little kiss you stole  
Held all my heart and soul.   
  
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Well, what did you think? I'd sure like to know! Send feedback to DaphAndNiles@aol.com Thanks! ~~Tracy  
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